Temporary
You all are too kind, with your words of sympathy, support, understanding and even commiseration. To speak about the implosion of one’s marriage is almost cathartic. As soon as it’s out there, finally out there, otherwise private individuals are quick to share their own personal tales of connubial woe, of separations, divorce, of nervous breakdowns. [...]
Now What?
That felt bad -the heart rending, gut wrenching, kind of bad that is, at least in film, usually accompanied by sorrowful swells of music. There were tears, especially from G who was, until today, blissfully ignorant of her parents’ faltering relationship. She was blindsided by the quiet admission that we had decided to part ways [...]
Better than the Last
The first day of the year and it’s the coldest day we’ve had to endure since we moved up North three years ago. I suppose it’s best to get the worst out of the way ahead of time. Now the remaining 364 days will feel superior to this one. There’s a foot of new snow [...]
Stop Snowing Damn-it
If it doesn’t stop snowing soon, in time for the plows to do their toil and prepare the roads for school tomorrow, I will begin to weep. And I will continue to weep through the long day tomorrow while my children sit home for the third day in a row, temperamental and bored, hopped up [...]
Past
They arrived all California tan and under dressed for our bleak, bare Sunday. Having left here more than a year ago, they had forgotten how bitter the prologue to winter can be. We laughed at their thin coats and sun streaked hair. It was natural, unguarded, this teasing. There was great relief in finding their [...]
The Same
I’ve returned to blogging skeptically, reluctantly because I know some of things I share here have damaged my already delicate home life and I’m doing a pretty good job fucking that up without rubbing salt in the wounds. But I need this space somehow, this collective nod, the communal understanding, to help me make sense [...]
November
What is it about November that just sucks the soul out of a person? It’s as if the human brain feels the need to keep time with the end of natural beauty and begins a sort of mental hibernation, shedding layers of complexity, raking hobbies and interests and efforts towards personal hygiene into one great [...]
Public Surrender
The main drag through our town is lined with impressive antique homes, all of them tastefully restored and expanded upon and painted in an array of acceptable and historically accurate Benjamin Moore colors. So it follows that the one home that has NOT been meticulously scraped and painted Kennebunk Beige, the one whose front porch [...]
Time Will Tell
Now that I’m spending ridiculous amounts of time with various therapists, hired guns intent on fixing the inner turmoil, I’m learning that there are certain things that generally define a therapy experience. First there is the noise machine that fills the waiting room with crashing waves, chirping crickets, the strains of Tchaikovsky. It is an [...]
Literary healing
I need to say a heartfelt thanks to you all who have been so kind and supportive these last few weeks. There is some shame and some gamble in letting it all hang out there, to call it what it is and hope that no one reading here will pass judgment on my decision to [...]
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