All Sky

Posted on April 7, 2008
Filed Under bat-ass crazy, bitching and moaning, kids, marriage, parenting, snark, suburban joys | 9 Comments

Cathy Ladman is apparently funny. Who knew? I guess I’ve been living under a mossy rock for the past ten years because, until I googled her, I had no idea what I’d been missing. After reading the following quote attributed to Ladman: “Marriage is very difficult. Marriage is like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle – all sky,” I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry but the relief that someone else could nail the complexity of the thing in two short sentences made me feel inexplicably better.

Now that I’ve watched this clip of her stand-up routine, I feel quite sure I will become a Cathy Ladman stalker. Despite the fact that she is 51 and I am 34 and she is Jewish and I am not and she lives in New York and is married to a man and I live outside of Boston and am also married to a man, I’m pretty damn convinced that she and I are soul mates. I think we could be really, really happy together, that she is someone that could make me laugh and I am someone who could, well, chuckle enthusiastically thus improving her timing and delivery. I’m not sure what she’d get out of the deal but I know that just being in her space for half a minute would really perk me up. And if it doesn’t stop raining here I just might call Amtrak and schedule my trip to NYC because I could use a little comedic levity right about now.

I just want to issue a public apology. Mother Nature if you were in anyway offended by my suggestion that you might wear tennis skirts and that I might be able to kick your ass, I am truly, truly contrite and hoping you can forgive me my hubris and quick temper. Three fucking weekends of rain in a row feels like more than appropriate punishment for having made such a thoughtless and cavalier statement. So please, please don’t feel you have to continue the torture. I can’t be responsible for my actions should next Saturday dawn all dreary and damp and unseasonably raw. Have mercy. I have two small children who should not be made to suffer through another housebound weekend with their bat-ass crazy mother who has taken to cleaning the toothbrush holder with Q-tips out of sheer boredom and ennui.

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.