Pity Party Encore
Posted on March 12, 2008
Filed Under marriage, kids, parenting, suburban joys, snark |
So it’s that time of year again…mid-March and the annual guys trip to Sebring is upon us. My Better Half is off today to spend five days and nights sleeping in a camper and living on the slope of a racetrack in central Florida with ten other sweaty, unshaven and heavily intoxicated men. And though it happens year after f-ing year I’m just never going to understand the allure. Fishing, hunting, football, astronomy convention? Maybe. But race cars? I just don’t get it.
And while I’m holding down the fort all by my lonesome, I think I’ll re-post last year’s ode to Sebring. Thank God the weather looks like it may be kinder and gentler this time around.
March 2007 -Pardon me if this comes off as one big pity party, my feeling really sorry for myself. But why? Why does the Better Half always manage to plan a weekend away when it dumps a foot of snow or the kids get the Roto virus or the basement fills with water and threatens to swamp the furnace?
This year it’s the snow scenario and though this beats the joys of gastrointestinal distress and the baling of the cellar, it still means that all the best laid plans to entertain the kids were canceled. No trip to the Safety Center to admire the town holding cell, no Friday evening tennis lessons and consumption of the cholesterol bomb at Fuddruckers afterward (as is our custom). All the togetherness, all the home-time with board games and play doh was been excruciating and I totally caved, allowing them to play Club Penguin for about five hours today before sending them off to bed.
I thought that the silver lining would be a good night’s sleep but then the plow guy decided to clear the driveway, first at 1:45 a.m. and then again at 4:13 a.m. Perhaps he felt the first pass was inadequate. If you’ve ever heard the sound of a plow attachment scraping up a gravel driveway then you’ll know that sleeping through this process was not a possibility. So the three of us have been up since the wee hours and I’m beginning to see double and weave and slur and it’s probably got nothing to do with the bottle of wine that I’ve nearly finished with and everything to do with exhaustion.
So I’ll leave you with some photo captions of what I accomplished today…small victories
Photo 1 and Photo 2, before and after… Shoveling’s a bitch when the snow is heavy. I can no longer lift my right arm. I’d rather stick hot pokers in my eyes then tackle that walkway again before next season.
Photos 3-5…There are three creatures I share this house with who apparently love snow, and it must have something to do with the fact that they don’t yet have to shovel.
Photo 6…This is where the Better Half was while I was playing Candyland ad infinitum and shoveling and firing up a pot of coffee at 4:13 a.m. (What’s up with all the raised fingers? Do all Nascar fans try to summon the beer guy at once? I’ll take three, no I’ll take four. Now that’s a thirsty crowd!)
Photo 7…He better be grateful and bearing beautiful, expensive, sparkling gifts upon his return.
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