Masquerade
Posted on October 30, 2007
Filed Under Anxiety, dogs, holiday fun, kids, parenting, suburban joys | 9 Comments
Yesterday, when wandering the cramped aisles of our local costume store, I decided that I must be a big fat loser. We arrived at Joker’s Wild to gather a few last minute items. We needed a furry pelt or some other suitable body wear for the monster O is planning to be and some green face paint for G’s transformation into the Statue of Liberty. I expected excited children looking for Indian head dresses and fairy wings. It never occurred to me that the shop would be mobbed with actual adult people selecting costumes for grown-up sponsored Halloween parties.
There was wiggle room only as otherwise normal looking individuals sorted through a variety of ensembles including a toilet seat complete with realistic looking dribble of crap and a plush body suit made to look like a naked Dom Deloise. Not that I envy these folks their selection. I mean really – toilet seats, Dom Deloise? But all this adult excitement concerning a holiday I thought exclusively the domain of children got me thinking, I have never, ever been to a costume party where other adults show up in masks and wigs and face paint.
Where are all these people going on Wednesday night that requires their purchasing a $200 costume and why, oh why haven’t I ever been asked to such an event so that I can politely decline, citing mortifying flashbacks from my Kindergarten year when I was ruthlessly laughed out of the second grade quad by children whose mother’s had created home-made costumes in the likeness of the Fry Guys and a bag of M&M’s and Wonder Woman and a Ladybug while there I was, wearing my regular everyday clothes and a mouse-with-a-mushroom-hat-mask. I’m not sure what the hell my mother was thinking besides, “Oh this looks easy and doesn’t require sewing and, great, it’s on sale, a fungi wearing rodent it is.” To this day, I loathe the act of masquerading. But still, it would be nice to have invitations to decline.
Instead, I will have to project my anxiety onto my own children who will gleefully don their costumes and face the wrathful judgment of their peers. It’s tough stuff – this Halloween thing. And I try to make up for my lack of creativity in the costume department by creating holiday memories of another variety. Like my sister-in-law who is so good at leading holiday themed craft projects and always, always baking the perfect festive dessert for her family on the special day, I decided I, too, would create a memorable Halloween confection that we could all enjoy and take photographs with as proof that I am not a total parental failure. And, after three hours of sweaty effort, my Halloween cake actually looked like the one in the magazine, all orangey frosting and dripping chocolate ganache. When I excused myself to go wash the chocolate off my jeans, the dog promptly dragged the whole thing off the counter.
Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
