I’m going to be that asshole…
Posted on October 24, 2007
Filed Under kids, parenting, suburban joys, snark, education, bus rides |
Tomorrow I’m going to have to be that asshole…you know the one, the one that marches down the street to the distant neighbor’s door; the one that knocks with purpose and authority, claiming the space that is their front door step, dominating the situation at hand. Having no idea what the parent behind that door looks like, never having exchanged a word, I will be the asshole that is a perfect stranger accusing the residents therein of harboring fourth grade hellions who make my children miserable on the bus, day in, day out.
Undoubtedly this will be a delicate confrontation. One that will require my most expert attempts at deflecting hostility with ample amounts of self deprecation and plenty of observations about the horrific behavior of my own children from time to time. This almost always works, the old: I’m-a-terrible-parent-too-and can’t believe my-own-maladjusted-children-haven’t-made-little-girls-cry-and-younger-boys-weep type of approach.
This is a particularly uncomfortable role for me. I can still remember the time my mother dragged me by the ear over to Becky Rhetman’s house and made me apologize for teasing her on the bus. (She did wet her pants. It was fourth grade when wetting one’s pants is social suicide, but, still, I was made to grovel.) I know first hand the scolding and the reprimand and the possible halt on allowance that Max and Brian will experience after my visit. I do not envy them the fall-out of my purposeful knock.
And, knowing the ins and outs of fourth grade bus shenanigans, I have made it abundantly clear to O and G that my going to Max and Brian’s house could spark a veritable teasing shit-storm. That instead of the intended result, my visit could launch a retaliation that may include increased harassment, merciless taunting and a lifetime of well launched spit-balls. They seem willing to make the gamble.
So I steel myself for the confrontation and hope that I’m doing the right thing. Damn this parenting thing is hard.
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7 Responses to “I’m going to be that asshole…”
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Bullies! They have been around forever and show no signs of fading.
Since the teasing happens on the bus, any chance you can get the school principal involved? Perhaps he can do the dirty work for you.
Go, Mama!
You go, girl! I am NOT looking forward to this. Ever. Makes me glad we’re homeschooling for the time being!
Good for you! Remember, no one ever believes that their children do anything wrong…..my Dad is the king of sending anoymous notes. He doesn’t like confrontation, but has a bit of OCD about the cleanliness of people’s property. Any, will all have a few neighbors, who, park on the lawn, don’t bring up the trash cans all week….Once, he sent a letter to a neighbor, saying, “Take pride in you home. Clean up your yard!” and they did. He did drive two towns over to mail the letter as not to be found out, but it worked. Maybe, if your knees are a little weak as you make your way up the walk, you can consider the “letter:, I will help you cut out the letters out of a magazine….
Kristen, good idea, that letter thing. And while I’m at it, I think I’ll also draft a letter to the neighbor with the barking beagle and the one who litters his cigarette butts at my mailbox before turning in to his own drive so his wife won’t find him out. People suck. People close to my property line suck. I’m with your Dad.
Oh, MAN. I can see it now. You are going to kick some a*s.
Oh those situations are so difficult! Good luck!