We is sooo ready for Haw-o-lean
Posted on October 15, 2007
Filed Under kids, parenting, suburban joys, homeownership, holiday fun |
It seems like just yesterday when I was a person who collected books on mid-century modern furniture and went thrifting for vintage Chanel and listened to local bands in small venues where the crowd rippled and pulsed and ultimately sweat all over one another.
But today, today I am woman that owns seasonal decorations. I actually have little dish towels embroidered with ghosts. I have the shockingly tacky Halloween votives sporting spiders and webs applied in glitter on my dining room table. I have pumpkins and chrysanthemums on the front steps. There are ghoulish decals decorating O and G’s bedroom windows.
I must clarify. In my own defense, I actually survived several, okay four, years as a parent without giving in to the seasonal decoration thing. Yes, I’d hang a wreath here and there and there was always a Christmas tree but never, never was there decorated candles or a sign in the yard featuring a black cat with arched back and the word ‘Boo!’ in stenciled letters. But as soon as G turned two, she began taking great interest in everyone else’s window stencils and scarecrows and giant air filled pumpkins with Snoopies popping out of the top. She began to keep inventory. Declaring, as we drove through town, “They is ready for Halw-o-lean, and they is, and they is, and they is sooooo NOT,” as if this was a fate worse than death, their being brazen and irreverent and hopelessly screwed for lack of pumpkins and ghosts and scarecrows and ghouls. And then we’d pull up to our own house and she’d shout, “WE IS NOT READY FOR HAW-O-LEAN.” It was quite a declaration. A severe reprimand from a two year old who insisted we usher in the big day with something other than a shrug of the shoulders and bowl full of gourds on the kitchen counter.
And so it began, with a bang. My MIL, being a true southerner, needed only to hear one fairly indecisive and slightly apprehensive mention of seasonal decorations before she was carting them through the front door by the armful. She’d been waiting, breathlessly, for the day when she could unleash Holy Halloween on my foyer and here, at long last was the day. Like a good daughter in law, I politely accepted ALL the offerings and later, when she was safely home and out of sight, stuffed them in amongst the pizza boxes and the recycling, hoping that the nice waste management guys might find a use for the skeleton place mats or the scarecrow garlands. And having managed to ward of the most egregious examples of holiday spirit, I have ended up with only one large cardboard box marked ‘Halloween’ that spends all but two weeks of the year tightly taped and completely forgotten in the far reaches of the attic.
But seeing as it’s the 15th and mid-month and, according to G, “Everyone’s been ready for Halloween for, like, forever. Except for us,” it is time to slice open the box and reconnect with old friends.
It’s good to see you hand crocheted jack-o-lantern. I’ve forgotten just how well your garish orange compliments the burgundy accents in the living room. Don’t get comfortable little stuffed pumpkin. I know a dog who loves nothing more than to torture the seasonal decorations. And, for once, who am I to stop her?
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6 Responses to “We is sooo ready for Haw-o-lean”
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I bet G is happy that you are finally “ready” for the candy fest.
re seasonal decor– I do confess to being extremely decked out for christmas. obsessively so I might add.
But I do not own a single halloween decoration, nor do we ever go shopping for halloween.
(that is what the dress-up box is for)
I almost caved.
(I was at Gabriel Brothers, the discount place and almost picked up a $12.99 skeleton)
my poor kids.
you think they will need therapy for the fact that
I am never ready for halloween?
I wish you had her on tape yelling, “WE IS NOT READY FOR HAW-O-LEAN!”
Priceless.
Xsd, I knew you were too cool for Halloween decorations. I was once like you. I had standards, Damn it.
Slouching Mom, I wish I had it on tape too because now she is sort of jaded and accusatory and talks like a valley girl. I miss the two year old toddler talk soooo much.
The thing about my MIL is that she finds a way to do the gaudy decorations year round.
Oh mine too. I love her but there’s no holiday she misses…Easter, St. Patricks Day, Arbor Day, Kwanza!
Love is shameless. Love for your kids proves this.