Hover mother
Posted on September 11, 2007
Filed Under kids, parenting, suburban joys, snark, education, milestones |
It’s my second post in many, many days and I’m feeling a little jumpy, trembly from the effort and the hope that you all will read it and love it and love me and forgive me for the long pause and my country club membership and the fact that my children now know an iron from a sand wedge.
(I’d just like to state for the record that I did not swing a golf club this summer. I have standards, people. I hold tightly to my original and lasting opinion that golf is for early risers, golf is for retirees, golf is for people who don’t mind wearing buckskin shoes and knee length skirts, golf is for children whose grandparents will spirit them away for hours at a time to teach them how to tee off. Have no fear, CCE is no golfer.)
But, I’m afraid I AM a helicopter mother, the kind that drives her children to school on the first day and insists on shaking the new teachers’ hand. I do this even though I know that other mothers loathe my type and the faculty cringe to see me coming. However, I do not bring flowers or baked goods. There is no hidden attempt to curry favor. I personally deliver O and G to school in order to give each instructor a firm hand shake and to get a good look in their eyes. These are the individuals to whom I have relinquished the control of my only children, to whom I have given the great task of guiding and advising my grade schoolers in all things that happen between 8:30 a.m. and 3 p.m. I think it advantageous that they have a healthy respect for my piercing gaze and my vise-like grip. It’s good insurance. It sets the tone. And it doesn’t hurt that O’s third grade teacher, Mr. S, has a quick, boyish smile and a charming wit.
Did I say vise like grip? I may have overstated that. On second thought, the grip I offered may have been somewhat limp and girlish and perhaps it smelled a little of lilac hand lotion and seduction.
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10 Responses to “Hover mother”
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We need a few more damn helicopters if you ask me. Too many people washing their hands of the responsibility as parents and leaving it to an overtaxed, underpaid team of educators, who, no matter how great they are as teachers, cannot love our children like we can. Sorry, soap-boxy, but this is the last thing you should be apologizing for!
Thanks, Amanda. I feel less ashamed of my need to be present on the first day of school. But still feeling a little weak in the knees after getting a good look at that Mr. S. I will be having my highlights done before Parent/Teacher conferences that’s for damn sure.
there you are…i was wondering what had happened to you. welcome back.
ahh, the joys of being able to get close enough to a teacher to look her/him in the eyes and determine whether the person in charge of your child isn’t vacant upstairs!! they won’t even let us near the classroom in the morning. drop off here, no time talk! at parent’s night (mind you, 2 weeks AFTER school starts), we get to hear about what goes on in the classroom. oh, so you use mind-numbing bribery to get the kids to learn. mmmmmm, maybe reading that book could be about, well, reading the book!!!
If our school isn’t careful, they’ll be beating us off with sticks come parent night. I’ve actually volunteered to be room mother and, no, it has nothing to do with how Mr. S looks. I just really love a good Halloween party and, afterall, I have this old French Maid costume kicking around that would be a shame to waste.
ooh, cute male teacher!
such a rarity!
cce, steve and i volunteered for lunch duty on the entire first week of school.
(it was a sneaky way around the no parents rule)
these are our children we are talking about.
no need for excuses.
a cute teacher is just a bonus.
oh - it’s essential indeed that the (male) teacher knows that your hands smell sweet. Essential.
cce,
Hmm. Cute teachers! I actually slept with one of my son’s teachers. (Okay, he was in my wife’s class one year). The adults formerly known as children are now all in college. Even when they were in high school I found myself confused about who was a teacher and who was a student, which is to say that the whole thing quickly spirals downward into confusion that seems to beg to be resolved in an embarrassing situation.
And yes, we’re still fans - still happy to read your posts - still eager to run back for more even after suffering through abandonment issues earlier this summer.
Oh Ron, you are soo naughty, bedding your son’s teacher and then marrying her. I’ll try to avoid embarrassing situations but, if any should occur, I’ll be sure to report them.
If I can help with the abandonment issues let me know. I apologize in advance for therapist fees!
Thanks for coming back.