a pissing contest
Posted on March 31, 2007
Filed Under marriage, kids, parenting, suburban joys, snark |
Sorry, it’s Saturday and cce is moving very sssslowlllyyyy after last night’s Cake Walk event. I have a residual “Who Let the Dogs Out” headache. This was my second time running the annual fund raising event for O and G’s elementary school and last night was an uber-success in terms of dollars earned.
Discounting the pain of playing “Get Ready for This” and “U Can’t Touch This” over and over and over again, the Cake Walk is a relatively simple event to coordinate and a certain hit with the kids. What eight year old doesn’t like the combination of Duncan Hines and the soundtrack from a hockey game?
I’m always impressed with sheer quantity and pastel nature of the baked goods donated. And, as usual, there were a few standouts in the line-up. The tray of rice krispie treats decorated to look like summer popsicles was ingenious and the cupcakes with the delicate birds nest on top were realistic and sweet. There was cake in the shape of flip-flops, appealing to the New Englanders’ March craving for open toed shoes and a pedicure. The nod to full fledged summer came in the form of the North Shore confection with its jello-blue surf and gummy sharks, the yellow cake-beach populated by Teddy Grahams lounging under Chinese parasols. 
But I thought I had served up the sure winner with my banana flavored Monkey Cake. Its cocoa frosting, licorice eyes, tiny little sprouts of chocolate hair atop his monkey head creating a stir among the fifth grade girls who are the sage judges of all things Cake Walk, dictating demand with their squeals of approval. And as the music cranked up and the dollar bills were collected, that monkey was the center of attention - sure to be the cake that would be chosen first….then the Sea Monster arrived, all three feet of it, with its candy corn teeth and Hershey kiss armature. We had to temporarily pause the opening ceremonies while the tray was carried in, lifted high above the heads of the smug and satisfied, delivered like an offering. When the music stopped and the first winner of the night skipped over to make her selection she floated right by that monkey. Weeping with joy, she gushed, “The Sea Monster is mine.” I haven’t seen that much sheer emotional gratitude since Oprah gave cars to her entire audience. My head hurts today but it’s my ego that’s really suffering. Cake Walk pissing contest lost. There’s always next year!
P.S. My previous post on Running with Scissors is appearing as movie review on Props and Pans today, go check it out if you haven’t already perused it here.
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5 Responses to “a pissing contest”
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Man, mothering is a bitch. I am just sitting here while my daughters, years from going to school, sleep (finally) upstairs,. After reading your post I am overwrought with thinking I’ll never measure up come baking contest/pastry fundraiser time. Damn. For the record I thought your monkey rocked. Definitely looked more filling!
Please give me information on what the Cake Walk is all about. My kids all attend Catholic schools and we are always on the look out for fun and lucrative fundraisers! Not that I could bake anything nearly as cute as the monkey or the sea monster, but I am sure there are lots of creative bakers out there. Nice job on the monkey. I bet he tasted divine!
tsb- Cake walks work kind of like musical chairs. There are number 1-12 on the the clock to the beat of some inane tune like Get Ready. When the music stops, each child hops on the closest number and the MC pulls a number out of a hat. Whoever is standing on the number that is selected wins a cake of their choice. It’s a dollar to play and only one winner each round. With sixty donated cakes you can run the game for almost three hours and earn over $700. Not bad for elementary school fundraising.
wow, cce
you made this monkey?
uhmmm no we are not separated at birth in this department.
amazing.
Yup, an ape of my own creation. Like a gave birth to the damn thing myself. You should’ve seen the huge fit I threw when I discovered My Better Half had eaten the licorice candy I had specially bought for the eyes, nose and mouth. Did I say huge fit? I meant earth shaking, continent shifting, mind blowing melt down. Now, you ask, who was too wrapped up in this particular pissing contest?