a silly putty injunction
Posted on March 21, 2007
Filed Under kids, parenting, suburban joys, snark, Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club |
So we know that O’s been passed over as the valedictorian of 2nd grade, that’s the bad news. But the good news is, he is not yet riding the short bus. In fact, he knows a ridiculous amount about the normally sized, quite new bus that he does ride…manufacturer, gas mileage, average speed that Carl the bus driver reaches on Ballardvale Road. Anyway, I’m still stewing about the enrichment program but I haven’t filed papers yet. I think a quiet conversation with his teacher’s voice mail threatening a law suit is the first and wisest step, don’t you?
Now on to child number two…since the Kindergarten doesn’t have enrichment, I have a year to panic about this. Believe me, we’re getting some flashcards and drilling those “sight words” because I am not filing two law suits against the same school in two short years. Too expensive, too exhausting. G doesn’t know it yet, but she’s this family’s last great hope for academic excellence. There’s just one thing I’m worried about and it’s this picture…
Does the fact that my child stuffed her ears with Silly Putty before falling asleep indicate brilliance (a rather creative solution to the problem that was frightening monster noises in her closet), or lack of foresight (hair entanglement, pillow staining, large chunk of hair chopped off to remove orange rat’s nest)? I think I should destroy this incriminating photo so that it may not be used against her during the future trial. I’ll be damned if she’s not going to be the valedictorian of the 1st grade, Silly Putty or no Silly Putty. And there will be an immediate injunction against all sticky manipulative substances in my house, including, but not limited to, Play Doh, Modeling Magic and clay. Any breach of this injunction will be considered a serious criminal offense that merits an hour in the dark, scary coat closet and a limit on dessert intake for several long, joyless days. I’m not interested in molding artistic children, I’m only concerned with academic performance. So the fun’s officially stopped and it’s work books and word families from here on out.
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8 Responses to “a silly putty injunction”
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Man, you have had a couple of bad days, counting from the weekend! You have to admit, though, it was a creative solution to her problem….
My child tested “gifted” and I ain’t in the Mass. area… So I DON’T have a dog in this fight. But here’s what chafe’s my bum.
I recognize that not all children are created “equal” in the conventional, cognitive sense. And I don’t think we should pretend otherwise. But dividing up schoolrooms creates a caste system. And yeah… I think an eight year old would recognize it.
I am very concerned about what that tells the eight year old. If your child has a non-gifted 124 IQ they can go pretty damn far. But if they internalize their “inferiority” it risks turning them away from higher pursuit. When my child was placed in the separate all day “gifted” class, my question was how do the kids interact with the other classes. Now they may be blowing smoke up my ass, but officially they down play it. It just is what it is. That’s o.k. Was I concerned about my kid? Not really. I was - swear to the god which I do not believe in - concerned about how the gifted program affects the other kids.
Long story short, I don’t think we accomplish much by pretending a kid with an IQ of 110 is conventionally “gifted.” But I think we create serious damage when we convince a kid with an IQ of 110 that he’s less than average. I think that’s precisely what pull out programs do.
Voicemail is for losers. It’s all about Doc-Ya-Men-Tay-Shen.
Send a letter to the principal stating that you would hope O-bert might someday be a part of the enrichment program. Ask that she/he mail you a copy of the qualifications for acceptance into the program. Start a file and keep a copy of all corresondence.
As for G, let’s just hope she wasn’t trying to quiet the voices in her head.
And speaking of G… how do we know that Jesus and God are one and the same?
Because, in all the illustrations and paintings and such, they are wearing similar clothing. It’s the robes.
okay, so who put the play-doh ad next to the photo?!
g is so very creative. but, why is she stuck on the scary monster in the closet? i think it’s pretty normal for kids to have that fear (i remember that fear). but how long is “too” long?
and as for o - wasn’t he reading at age 4 or earlier? is there a good montessori or other school nearby that might offer him other ways of learning? imagine a school where o would be encouraged to bring his “science” report on how a school bus works?!
They really should learn to accessorize.
I don’t have an opinion on the enrichment program since my kids aren’t old enough for those worries, but I am getting quite a chuckle out of the silly putty incident. Did she sleep all night like that? Poor girl!
Mary, Yes, she did sleep all night like that, ironically one of the only nights she hasn’t wandered into our bedroom in a long, long while.
esl, there are plenty of private schools and Montessori options if you’ve got 20k to spend on second grade…I dunno but that just seems a high price to pay for book reports on school buses.